Hurts Need BandAids
by faux-fantasy
Summary: Running from her past was fresh and new to her. After leaving behind a life of fear and self hatred, can House piece back together her world and make it alright?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

* * *

"What do you mean Cameron's not coming into work? Cameron's always at work. She's the only one that's always at work for god's sake!" Cuddy had her hands on her hips in an attempt to intimidate House. Although such a feat was not humanly possible, Cuddy held no fear against the man standing in front of her and she wanted answers.

"I know you think that Mary Popins has dedication to no where else aside from this hospital, but I could have sworn I saw a little black speck in the sky today." House dramatically limped over to his office window and peered up. "Definitely a crow." House shrugged, his face contorted into a smug grin.

"House, quit your immaturity, as much as I know you cling to it, for once could you just give me a plain answer?"

"She quit." She took note of the slight falter in his expression, but didn't comment on it.

"House! What the hell did you do this time?" Cuddy stared at him in disbelief as House grabbed his oversized blue and red ball and began squeezing the life out of it. His tension showed through his long fingers, but Cuddy was to busy accusing to take note.

"Don't ask me, I got it second hand from the brotherhood."

"She told Chase and Foreman?" Cuddy spluttered.

"She told Chase and Foreman" House imitated her childishly "Apparently she didn't trust herself to come in and tell me herself-or so they say. I don't know, they think I'm a bit to rough or something. Why does no one understand I'm just a soft cuddly bear just waiting to burst out?" House asked dramatically, dipping slightly to complete his act.

Cuddy only managed to shake her head at him as she quickly left to figure out where Cameron had gone and better yet, why she had left so abruptly without any notice. It was uncharacteristically out of place and she wanted to know what had caused it. She'd deal with House later.

As soon as Cuddy's heals had clicked their last near his office, House dropped the façade. His stubborn nature told him to continue the sarcasm, pretend he wasn't bothered in the least, it wasn't his problem. As soon as there was no one around to see differently, House allowed his hurt to freely show-or at least as far as Greg House would admit even to himself.

A few days ago, House and Cameron had gone to a work party, or more specifically a fundraiser. On such occasions, House usually opted for the bar, while Cameron toured around, meeting with people, chatting and being her overly pleasant self. House would watch from a distance, amused at her small bantering and half entertain the idea of making conversation with her on his own. Usually he preferred his lonely post at the bar and waited until one of his ducklings dragged him to their table, but that night had been different.

Cameron had looked absolutely stunning in a forest green off the shoulder number, swirling and clinging to her as if the fabric had chosen its owner and not the other way around. The red dress she had once worn to a similar event seemed minor in comparison, and she had not looked anything short of smoldering in that number either.

House would have been pleased to stare at her all night and pretend that he in fact, was not looking at anything in particular. His lust and cravings for her had over time, found there way into transforming into something more, but he would never say a word, not when he himself still had to sort through the feelings she made him feel.

One highly unlikable person however was clinging to Cameron's arm with an air and grace only his type could produce. Malibu Ken and Barbie seemed quite content, while Oscar the Grouch was not. Normally the close proximity wouldn't have bothered him, but Chase was taking extra care to whisper lightly in her ear as she giggled softly; a secret they both found amusing. He didn't like the idea of his breath tickling her ear. Chase waltzed her around the floor, pressing closer to her as the music slowed and she did not pull away. Chase allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder at the dinner table as they sat eating their desert's and drinking their coffee or leftover wine. By this time, House had been in their company since dinner had been served and he was not appreciating the scenery before him. As the night wore on and it was clear Cameron was losing touch with the waking world, Chase snaked his arm around her to comfort her, all the while continuing on whichever conversation he was having at that moment. Cameron found House's eyes boring into hers several times and all she did was stare under the protection of Chase's arm, she did not pull away.

When it was clear Cameron would readily claim her chair as her makeshift bed, she let Chase know she was heading home and let him lightly pecked her on her cheek. He didn't even make a move to finish his conversation with Forman and nodded as she said her goodbye's to the rest of the table. When she met House's eyes, she nodded and left the table, knowing he would follow her.

He waited a cautious minute or two and then excused himself, giving the excuse that 'the party blew' and headed off as fast as his bunged up leg would allow for. He met Cameron at his car as she finished yet another yawn.

"You don't have to do this." House told her softly.

"I know it's for the best, if he finds out he'll force responsibility and I don't know if I can handle it." Cameron seemed tired, her eyes a darker shade then he was used to, her cheeks pinched in frustration and years of aging that should have never reached her yet. She looked frail, a completely different outlook from the Cameron that had just presented herself to the world indoors only a dozen feet away.

"Allison I'm going to ask you again. Are you sure this is what you want?" House eyed her carefully, waiting for any sort of change, a shudder, a twitch of her eyes, anything to suggest she could be persuaded otherwise. He personally didn't think it mattered whether she decide to keep it or not, because he would love her either way, he just needed to make certain that she had made the decision on her own, that it was her wish.

"Yes Greg. I can't. I don't want his child. I could never…" Cameron's voice faltered and trailed off as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. "I know I've always wanted a child. But I know if I have one, it would be more dangerous for it. I would live in fear every day, knowing that it could be the last day. I just can't deal with the risks."

House could only nod as she spoke. It was situations like these, situations that weren't under his control that he saw only narrow passage ways to bend through.

"Chase?" House asked calmly, knowing anything that had to do with the men in her life could set him off instantly.

"Chase doesn't know. I- Greg you knew how hard it was for me to tell you. This isn't Chase's baby but he won't believe me whether I tell him the truth or not. He'll be angry and upset that I didn't tell him what happened that night. He'll try to go after him and I can't have him risking his life for me. Especially when I can't even be with him anymore. I can't Greg." Tears were rolling down her cheeks now. Her desperate plea to keep all things quiet was to much for him. He had seen her come broken to him a month ago. In a bravado he didn't know a woman that had undergone a situation like that could muster, she hid it well from everyone, even her current boyfriend and co-worker Robert Chase was none the wiser.

He had been her crying shoulder when she broke down at night, showing up at his doorstep at odd hours, asking for nothing more than a place on his couch to sit and weep. He had obliged only because he knew he cared for her immensely and his teasing and sarcasm were not meant for her type of case. Even House knew his limits. He had also become a softer man as time wore on and every day that she hid the fact that she had been raped from everyone else she knew, he witnessed her dramatic decrease in eating habits, greater application of makeup and emotional instability. No one else took notice.

The wind was whipping her hair around, her dress began to fade from its glamour as she paled, glancing over House's shoulder. Noticing her eyes were no longer trained on him, or even averted, he got the message and without even looking behind him he knew.

"Chase, go home." He grunted. Cameron's eyes flickered nervously back and forth, the sudden fear and suffocation was evident as he watched her make her choice. She wasn't going to stay and with Chase around, she was going to bolt. She could only handle so much and he watched her face as her breaking point drew closer.

"What the hell is she talking about? Allison, what is this? You're pregnant?" Chase accused her, stepping closer. "We didn't even sleep together Cameron, how could you be pregnant?" House knew that his inferior would not take the news lightly. He also knew that Cameron would not tell her shame to Chase. Damnit, this was only forcing her farther away then he wanted!

Cameron's head lowered in shame, her hands brought up protectively around her naval in a gesture that suggested she was in fact carrying.

"Answer me! Have you been sleeping around with him?" Chase's anger was vibrating off his voice as he forced his way in an awkward side stance near House's shielding back. "I thought there was something I really did, but maybe I should have known. You've always loved him haven't you?" Chase asked in bitter tones. Cameron began to cry softly. "Unbelievable you little slu-"

House was not about to allow him to call her any disrespectful name after what she had been through. Especially when she was no such thing. House quickly turned around and punched Chase square in the jaw, sending the slimmer, shorter man stumbling backwards a couple feet.

"Don't you dare ever call her that. You have no idea what she has been through in the past month and believe me when I say she is anything but what you just called her. Now get your British ass out of here before I take you off the pay roll."

Chase gave one final look of rage and contempt and marched off, re straightening his collar as he went. He was most likely headed for the bar.

"He's right you know." Cameron spoke quietly, her soft voice strained with tears.

"No he isn't. This was in no way your fault." But he knew no matter how many times he tried to explain that to her, she wasn't going to accept it, at least not for a very long time. When he's suggested therapy, she looked more frightened then before he'd mentioned it.

House was not the type to comfort. Nor was he the type to be sympathetic. But as he watched the strong woman he once knew her as crumble before him, her sheer trust in him despite everything she'd been through, had wavered his heart. He knew he kept telling himself that he had feelings for her, which he had never really wanted in the first place, but he also knew that he was in love with her. Denying that was only tearing her farther from him. When she had begun dating Chase months earlier, he had been jealous. When she was attacked and she ran to him, not Chase, he knew there was a trust she only knew for one man. He had been with her, every outing Chase had forced her into, every day at work that resembled anything like her rapist, he was there. He held her, he comforted her, he protected her. No, it was no use denying it any more, she followed him because she knew he was there, something Chase hadn't done. He also knew that although nothing romantic had ever occurred between them since she had dated Chase, she still loved him. Somehow he knew that. And after the rape, she had become to scared to break it off with Chase-fearing he may hurt her. It would take time to convince her to let him go, that he would protect her. Nothing more was ever going to happen to her.

It took a few minutes but finally he heard her speak.

"You know, I must have spent hours in the baby ward. I watched them from the glass. They're all so tiny and beautiful." Cameron sniffed as she forced the last of her tears to dry with her index finger. "I knew I couldn't do it. It would be a reminder every day of what happened. I don't think I can. Is that selfish?"

House quickly pulled her to him, leaning his cane against his car in the process.

"No. It's realistic. I'll come with you tomorrow." He hoped he sounded supportive, but he knew it most likely came out gruff.

"House you don't have to. I think I should do it alone anyway." That was her strength speaking. She was trying not to burden him, or so she claimed she did. She still didn't understand though and until he had the courage to tell her, he wasn't so sure how much longer she would be around.

That had only a few nights ago. He had, as requested, allowed her to go to the abortion clinic alone. He had winced at the thought of how scared she was and he knew he should have gone with her, but at the time he thought he was just listening to her wishes. He hadn't seen her since and the past couple days he had made excuses that she was sick. Her apartment was empty every time he checked, or more like forced entry, her car never parked and her cell phone never on. The abortion clinic did however check her in, which was evidence that she had in fact been there for her scheduled appointment.

Chase avoided him completely and when a twenty seven year old male had come in with a full body rash and circulatory failure, Chase had stated his opinions where needed and House tried to be more patient with him, while at the same time, crueler with his words.

Cuddy hadn't questioned Cameron's illness, dismissing it as a cold casually. But now heading up to day four, he had had no choice but to tell Cuddy she had left the team for good. His distraction would give him enough time to pull on his coat and exit the building as he began a search for Cameron, as his boss went to question two false leads.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

Cameron studied herself in the mirror from head to toe. The scars from her C-section remained clearly visible and she touched the haunting reminder lightly. It had been a year now since she had left Princeton without a trace.

She didn't know how she could look at herself in the mirror. How could she have gone against every moral belief she had and taken away an innocent life, when she tried to save one every day? Her child, she had named him Talon, had been born May twenty-third, died on the twenty-ninth.

It had been all her fault.

And

She

Couldn't

Forgive herself….

"Open wide."

"Like this?"

"No you idiot, when you ask your mouth closes." House tapped his cane as he tried to get a good look into his newest clinic patient's esophagus with his doctors flashlight. His patient obliged and opened further without comment, looking disgruntled at the name calling. "Now say 'ah'"

"Ahhhhh" His patient held her note.

"Clever, so you think this clinic is like the rolling hills in Europe and this is the sound of music, everything's a song right?"

"Uh?"

"What is this the stone age?"

"Umm"

House glared at his patient who looked completely confused and slightly upset by the rough treatment she was receiving.

"You don't have any swelling, your tonsils look fine and there's no abnormal redness. That rules out tonsillitis and strep throat. Your vowels sound perfect and your keys are fine. I'm prescribing you singing lessons and a placebo for the next time you think you have something that you don't."

"A placebo? Is that like a relaxing drug or something?"

"Like, totally!" House pepped, putting on his valley girl imitation.

Shrugging the girl who must have been in her late teens snatched her prescription and left the room immediately.

House was just about to settle in the corner of the room, television remote already in hand when his blasted pager went off. When he read 'Cuddy, urgent', he sighed in frustration and turned on the television. They had no cases at the moment and if he was 'urgently' needed, she'd find him.

Ten minutes later she did just that, barging into the room, hands on her hips, chest heaving and a stormy glare in her eyes that suggested she meant business.

"Cuddy, I was just about to come find you."

Cuddy gestured to the way he was sitting. One chair used as a footstool, the other housing himself, a gurney pillow behind his back. He looked too comfortable at work for her to foolishly believe that old one liner.

"House, when I page urgent, you're supposed to come to my office immediately, not watch General Hospital. In fact, you're not supposed to watch General Hospital at all! I could have you fired for this!"

"Oh Cuddy, let's not play games here. You know this is how it's always been, you're just angry about something and it's causing you to act irrationally. Come, sit down, we'll watch General Hospital together, if you're lucky, I might get really into it and feel you up a bit." House wagged his eyebrows in mock sexual reference.

Cuddy glared. Usually she resorted to rolling her eyes, yelling came next. This time she looked stern and genuinely frustrated. House was at her attention now.

"What is it?" House demanded.

"I don't know if I should tell you now, seeing as how urgent means nothing to you". Cuddy turned and marched out of the room, knowing House would follow her.

House, limping behind as fast as he could manage, had caught up to her in no time.

"Where are we heading? New patient?"

"You could call it that." Intrigued, House pressed further.

"Abnormal case?"

"In her…condition, I would say so." Cuddy's eyes never strayed from her gaze ahead, and her heals were beginning to pick up speed with every step as they closed in on their destination.

"ER?" House questioned. "That stuff has nothing to do with me, you know that."

"I don't care House, could you just be a little bit quieter right now, it's important that you do not touch anything, I'm only doing this because she requested it. Do you understand me? No touching of anything." Cuddy persisted, turning to stand in front of the double sliding doors that entered the emergency room, blockading it.

House was becoming more and more anxious to get into the room. He knew that whatever was back there was not going to be a pleasing sight in any way, and not just because it was the ER after all. For his own protection and for whoever it was that had requested him to come, he slid his hand behind his back.

"Fine." House agreed. Cuddy searched his face once more, as if to make sure, as well as clearly showing that she knew he was lying. She flashed him one last warning look and turned to the doors, allowing them to slide open and House to fly past her

"House!" She called after him but he did not respond. "Room 209" Cuddy shouted helpfully. The nurses at their station glared at her for her shout but one flash of her superior look and they instantly averted their gazes and continued on.

House, having heard, detoured left and saw the room he was looking for. Behind the large gallery glass walls, which had not yet been covered, lay Cameron, pale, thin and defenseless.

House wasted no time in barging into the room, scrubbing his hands quickly and heading to the operating table, his cane lay forgotten near the door and the pain in his leg was momentarily absent.

He watched her heart monitor, 45,43,39. It was reaching critical and he panicked. After almost a year of not seeing her, he was not about to let her die on the operating table. Her heart stopped.

Quickly grabbing a set of paddles from their station, shoving a shouting doctor out of the way, he interfered. More doctors began yelling at him but he managed to shut them out. All he heard was her heart beat, and all he saw was her heart. He cleared and paddled several times until her heart rate slowly rose back up to normal. Intubating her he announced his work complete.

"Dr.House I thought I told you not to touch anything." Cuddy stormed in, anger but relief written all over her face.

"I crossed my fingers. Why the hell didn't you tell me it was Cameron?" House asked angrily, marching back across the room to grab his cane, before heading back to Cameron's side. By now, all the angry emergency doctors had left save one. Apparently Cuddy overruled in every aspect.

"Personal interest could lead to risks."

"Who says I have personal interest?"

"Please House. Don't even make me start on it."

"What happened to her?" House demanded, choosing to ignore Cuddy and instead focusing on the lone doctor. Opting for peace rather then war, the doctor gave the information freely.

"Drug overdose on painkillers. It must have been a bottle of aspirin, her heart stops every so often, we need to pump her stomach."

"Where was she when you found her?"

"A hotel room somewhere nearby, that's all I know. The doctors are prepping for the pumping."

House nodded as the doctor excused himself. What had happened? An overdose on drugs was rarely enforced. That meant she had turned suicidal. There was only one way of finding out for certain. He began by lifting up her hands but found no signs of burning. He looked at her wrists and found light scars. Evidence pointed to the obvious.

"House what are you doing?" Cuddy demanded. House chose to ignore her as he investigated further. Lifting her shirt he looked at her stomach and quickly snatched it back down as Cuddy came closer. Of course this had not been before he saw something completely unexpected.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Take a look at her wrists though."

"I know." Cuddy sighed heavily.

"You knew and you didn't care to tell me?" House pressed, the suppressed anger could not be hidden from his voice.

"I'm sorry House. She's been suicidal a while now. I couldn't tell you." Cuddy looked relieved to finally share this bit of information, but at the same time uncertain of whether or not she should have leaked the information.

"How many times?" House asked, his eyes burning holes into Cameron's skin, his anger was heightening the more he was learning.

"Two separate incidents that I've known about. I had to track down her file after the first time. One alcohol poisoning, one wrist slit."

So if she had tracked down Cameron's file, there was no way she didn't know about the C-section.

"She was admitted to the abortion clinic a year ago, but she never made it there did she?" House had to know. His curiosity was sickly sliding around to a point where it wasn't even interest or intrigue, it was need.

"House, I can't discuss it." Cuddy turned quickly, making to leave.

"Why not? Did you guys do girl scouts honor? No boys allowed?"

She snapped back towards his direction.

"I know you're upset House, but please, it's not my place to tell. She came to me in confidentiality about everything a little while back. I can't so stop trying to get any information from me. It's not happening House. And I meant what I said, don't touch her again or I will place a security team around her." Cuddy threatened and shook her head as she walked out of the ER room.

House took out his bottle of Vicadin and popped one back quickly. He understood what she had been through and he understood what she had tried to do. The question was why?


End file.
